On a more personal note...

On a more personal note...

Today is my last day after 3 years at my current job. My sister worked for the company and made me aware of a temporary full-time position making decent money while I was going to school. Even though I knew that the plant would be closing, I was hired on the spot with a one year contract which then was extended to another year and eventually the company hired me outright to ensure that I would have benefits and a severance package once our time here was complete because they knew how hard I worked and how much I did every day. Most people at the plant have been working here for 30+ years, and even though I didn't get to know everyone here and even though we all knew that this day would come, it is beyond depressing. As each person makes their rounds to say goodbye and good luck, all I can think about is how bitter I am.

The past 6 months I have been searching for a job in my field after obtaining my Masters in March. Nothing could have prepared me for the slap in the face that is the hiring process in modern times. No longer can we go ask for applications or if companies are hiring, no more can we call to follow up with applications, and no more is there a way to relay your passion or personality other than through a piece of paper called a resume that most companies won't even review because of the selection processes.

The company provided a social worker for anyone to talk to for any reason regarding the closure. As my field is Psychology, I thought it would be a great opportunity to talk to someone in the field about my options. It felt like my future was completely deflated after the woman told me the only way I would make the type of money I need (for my mortgage and many bills as I am financially independent) is to work for the DCF and then spent an hour talking about how traumatic and horrible that job was for her.

I then reached out to someone from this company whose husband works for a University that had open positions I applied for. His recommendation flattened me even more. He suggested that I either move to a new city or apply for yet MORE schooling to have MORE loans than the $75,000 I currently have because 'just' a Masters isn't enough, as if all of my hard work, dedication, and education were not enough for an assistantship.

I had one interview that was just horrible. They turned everything I said against me.

"What made you interested in research?"
"I loved that I was able to apply my math and statistics skills toward finding answers for problems, especially in the field of psychology where we have the ability to add to the knowledge of human behavior"

"Well you wouldn't be doing math here"

...they asked how I got interested in research. I didn't say I only wanted to be a data analyst,  collecting data is PART of research. The rest of the interview went very similarly.

They asked if I had any follow up questions and I asked if the interviewer thought that I would be a good candidate for the position. He replied by telling me that it was hard to tell since there were SO many applicants. On my way out, I wished the next interviewee good luck.

I am beyond sympathetic for anyone in a similar situation being put down and told you aren't enough. I had major anxiety knowing that I would not have a job lined up once this place ceased to be and although I searched for help, I found not one person supportive. Anyone I spoke to I lashed out at. The questions were exhausting: What are you going to do? Have you looked here at this place you aren't qualified for or that has nothing to do with what you want to do? How do you not have a plan? Why are you looking at places with an hour commute? Why don't you just get a similar job to what you have now?

Instead of having faith in my ability of doing everything possible to find a job that I want/love, they questioned me as if I haven't tried everything or that I should settle for something I don't enjoy. I am a PLANNER without a plan. I am organized as shit. I know how to get a job, obviously I've had many in the past. I get over 50 emails a day informing me of jobs in my field on top of reaching out to anyone I know, any company that I can, and any resource I have available to me. Instead of finding emotional support, which is really all I needed at this point, they made me feel even worse about myself and my efforts (I didn't think that was possible).

I am choosing to be positive. To take things one day at a time. I actually decided to take a month off, as it has been so long since I haven't had a job to go to daily. I'm planning a mini trip to a city I haven't been before, Chicago. In the mean time, I will continue my efforts and hope that I receive more support than I've seen in the past as I explain to people what I need and try to do so without crying or getting angry.

My point is, don't underestimate a person's efforts. Don't make assumptions or ask stupid questions. Instead, be there for one another. LISTEN to what they are saying. ASK what someone needs because more often than not, what they need is not what they receive. Don't make someone feel inadequate because they don't have a job, house, relationship, or anything else that society deems necessary for them to be happy. The future is scary enough without added pressures from those who are supposed to be there for you.